Camo

Can you find the baby?

Emma these days

Emma is having a BLAST being a big sister. For a while she wasn't quite sure about Benson, but now that he's smiling and she's had some time to get used to him, she LOVES him and is always smothering him with hugs and kisses. She's such a mini-me sometimes, she tells me that her baby is "sad - she's crying. I better go pick her up!" She talks to Benson like me, "Hi Benson, you're so cute! Hey little guy, whatcha doin'?" She's also the fashion POLICE when it comes to my hair. I now have good motivation to actually do my hair - Emma has a COW when I "put my hair up" in a ponytail, she'll cry and sometimes refuse to eat or do something else we're in the middle of until I take my hair out. Wierd. Here's some recent pictures:)

With her baby

"reading" the scriptures: upside down sometimes...
She was muttering to herself, "Jesus and Prophets, Jesus and Prophets..."

Making pizza dough - so domestic!

I'm spending a lot of time holding my kids these days. Looking in their eyes, watching them play, smiling and laughing with them, and enjoying our time together. Monday I attended the funeral of our beloved friends' 23 year old son. He died unexpectedly. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of his loved ones.

I can't really imagine it. At all. So I'm taking advantage of the time we have - our eternal family is so precious!

Also loving this song I learned in primary recently:

Our Father has a family; it's me, it's you, all of us too. We are His children.
Our Father sent us here to earth, through birth, to live and learn here in families.
God gave us families, to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love, for the family is of God.
(first verse only)

Benson these days

Benson: Well, he is happy, healthy (for the most part), and growing like a champ! He sleeps pretty well, and is starting to smile, gurgle, and coo. His 2 month stats:

Weight: 17 lbs. 3 oz = off the charts

Height: 24 inches = 95 percentile

I never explained before because hey, let's face it, life with these 2 is BUSY, but Benson has been on an apnea monitor for the last 6 weeks. At his 2 week checkup the Dr. noticed some "retraction breaths" which led to a chest x-ray, which led to hospitalization the next day for suspected pnumonia. After a couple days of tests in the hospital, it turned out to be acid reflux, which he was aspirating tiny bits of, which inflamed the lungs. At least that's what they came up with. So now he's on medication for the reflux and his oxygen and breathing levels, which were not good at the time, are great now. This doesn't sound like a big deal, and I'm grateful that it wasn't pnumonia or something worse. HOWEVER, coming down from recently-giving-birth-and-adjusting-to-a-newborn hormones and lack of sleep, I just about passed out when I walked into his room and saw the stark little pediatric hospital bed. My stomach dropped but I made myself put my 2 week old son on it and let them hook him up to various monitors, IV's, test machines, etc. I couldn't believe that I kept it together so well. Except for one phone call from Julie - sorry! SO, they sent him home on an apnea monitor, and he should be off of it soon.

UPDATE: At his 2 month check, Dr. still sees retraction breaths, which is not normal, so we're headed to a pediatric pulmonologist in December. At this point, I'm not really worried because he's growing so well and his oxygen levels are great, but I'd really like to get this figured out. Wish us luck! Here are some pictures of our big boy:)

Happy boy - I am LOVING the smiles:)


B at 2 months:

With cute baby Mara - 3 weeks younger and a WHOLE lot lighter;)

... thanks to Emma!

5 and 6 weeks

Benson

I finally found my computer cord for the camera! I've been itching to post these for weeks, and since it's 3:46am and my computer moves at a glacial pace, I'll post the rest later. And you REALLY SHOULD leave me a comment because I'm losing precious sleep for YOU. (Well, for me too...)Approx 2.5 weeks? I promise to keep better track from now on...

3 weeks - I'll explain the cords next time. CUTIE! This was one of my favorite outfits and he outgrew it so fast!Emma loves to dance to the music on the bouncy chair - sometime WITH Benson! They fill my heart!

MORE TOMORROW!

Pumpkin Patch

You know that feeling you have when you know your boyfriend is just about to break up with you, or you're giving a scary presentation in school or church soon, or you have to call someone who will likely be angry with you but you're procrastinating, and the list goes on? It's a feeling of muted dread that, while it's not always in the forefront of your mind, it permeates everything you do, is always there in the back of your mind all day, everyday?

This is how I feel about winter.

I know it's beautiful, (sometimes) and I love Christmastime, and I understand the importance of the different seasons. I know, I know, I know. But I just LOVE summertime, (and don't love being cold, feeling shut-in, driving in the snow, being cold, bundling up to go out, darkness before dinner time, kids constant runny noses from November to April, being cold, etc). SO autumn marks the beginning of the end with me. Even during the wonderful summer months, I am sad sometimes because I know that because it's here, it's that much closer to being over. A big melodramatic, I know, but that's how I feel!

That being said, I'm trying to make the most of autumn time, because if I block out the impending winter doom, it's a great time of year.

This year Emma and I went to a super fun Pumpkin Patch with some other moms/tots from the MBASA (MBA Spouse Association). SO FUN! Emma had a blast, and I loved it too, and not just because I was actually getting out of the house!

Some pretty random animals: goat, peacocks, turkeys, doves, rabbits. Emma loved it! (have you ever looked at a goats eyes? Freaky)

Love this face!

P.S. Ben says that if we live in a warmer place that I'd just trade winter for lots of big bugs and critters - which I despise equally. Is this true? (Not that I don't believe him, I'm just holding out some kind of desparate hope...)

Musing

Last Sunday afternoon we went for a drive to see the beautiful fall colors that are starting to appear on the back side of Mt. Timpanogos. As we were driving along the curvy road and admiring the gorgeous view, I tried to point out to Emma the beautiful red, gold, and orange colored trees that were just behind the still-green trees next to the road, and stretched beyond that for miles of colored beauty. But she just couldn't seem to see past the trees that were right in front of her, and she kept saying to me, "can't see em".

It occured to me that it is often difficult to help little children to see past something in front of them to something further away, even when we point to it. (For example, the animals at the zoo that are further away in their exhibit, or these trees that were further away than the ones right next to the road.)

I wondered outloud to Ben and Meg, how often Heavenly Father tries to get us to see past what is right in front of our faces, to the beauty and blessings that are waiting just beyond? How often do we get caught up in a difficulty or challenge, or even simply becoming apathetic in our discipleship, and forget to turn to Him and forget how He wants to bless us? Not only after this life, but right NOW. If Emma could have seen past the green trees right in front of her, she would have seen vast forests of beautifully colored trees that stretched for miles just after them. What if we could see beyond this relatively small moment to the vast blessings and unimaginable beauty and happiness that stretches for eternity before us? We can at least know it is there, if we will turn to Him and stay close to the Spirit.

Little did I know how much I would cling to that thought this past week... What a comfort to know that God is all-knowing and so loving!

Pictures

Here's what you've all been waiting for! Pictures of the new arrival:

I haven't made the time to fix/crop any of these pictures, plus our camera is suffering from a few cases of over-eager-Emma-fingers, so our pictures are not the greatest. But you get the idea:)

Emma likes to "go check on Benson" or "go see Benson". So far we haven't had any eye poking or any other dangerous episodes. So far.

EMMA WAS HERE.

(necklaces, stuffed animals... she's very good at sharing - when he's older we'll have to let him know how good he currently is at "sharing" all of his toys and blankets with Emma;)

I love cuddling my baby boy!

We're so happy to have you here, Benson!

Arrival

Benson Lee Kaufman - born 9/8/09 at 12:24pm.

weight: 8 lbs 7 oz (exactly the same birthweight as Emma!)
length: 21 inches


We walked into Labor and Delivery and it felt so surreal because I wasn't in labor! I haven't been "checked" for dilation this whole time, but today wanted to know for curiosity's sake. I was dilated to a 4 - whaaaat?! So we had to make the whole "VBAC vs. C-section" decision AGAIN. In the end we decided to go with the C-section, which worked out GREAT. Everything went so smoothly and he is a bigger baby with a large head, so probably wise not to try the VBAC. Benson pulled an "Emma" and had low oxygen saturation levels and blood sugar, so was close to being admitted into the NICU, but thank goodness he wasn't! They fed him a little through a feeding tube which brought his levels up enough that he is currently sleeping IN MY ROOM. Hurray! I LOVE having him in here and not in the NICU:) What a blessing in our lives this little guy already is!

Me this morning at 39 weeks 5 days

Welcome to this world, Benson! He is no small force to be reckoned with !

Dad, Emma, and Benson. Emma is doing great so far at being a big sister! She also did GREAT with my Mom all day today. Thank you Mom!

We are so GRATEFUL for this new little one. What a miracle to have him arrive so healthy and strong and be doing so well. We love him so much already!